I’ve always been terrible with names. This isn’t some new
post–brain injury issue — I was born with this particular talent. Years ago,
someone told me I was just being rude for not listening or caring enough to
remember people’s names. Ouch. That one stuck with me. Because if you really
know me, you know that couldn’t be further from the truth.
If I were on a sinking boat with one life jacket left, it
would belong to someone else — probably someone whose name I still couldn’t
remember, but whose life I’d gladly save. I’ve always had a heart for people,
and that’s something I’ll never apologize for.
But it’s not just names I get wrong. Oh no, I am the
reigning king of misheard lyrics, botched celebrity names, and completely
made-up band titles.
Case in point: tonight my brain refused to shut off — again
— and a song I hadn’t heard in forever started looping in my head. I was
convinced it was U2. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. The song was “You Can’t
Always Get What You Want,” and it was The Rolling Stones.
As I replayed those lyrics, one line hit me like a bolt of
truth:
“If you try sometimes, you just might find… you get what you need.”
That one sank deep.
Before my brain injury, I had big dreams — plans, goals, a
roadmap that looked nothing like where I am today. The day everything changed,
I thought my life was over. I didn’t blame God — I blamed myself. I thought I
had ruined everything. But what I thought was the end of the road turned out to
be a divine detour.
Sure, I could definitely live without the 24/7 headache
that’s been my unwanted companion for five years. But the blessings that came
with this new life? They’re beyond measure. I’ve made incredible friends,
connected with the most inspiring souls on the planet — and as a bonus, I get
to rewatch the same TV shows like it’s the first time, every time. Beat that,
Netflix.
It’s not easy. There are nights I cry myself to sleep. But
even then, God carries me through the storm — even when I don’t love myself, He
still loves me.
No, I didn’t get what I wanted in life. But thank God, I got
what I needed.