This
afternoon, I got a call from my aunt. She was trying to reach my dad, but he
wasn’t answering—and that was unusual. My dad always picks up on the first
ring. His phone is practically an extension of his hand. After work, my brother and I drove to his house. No car in the
driveway. No sign of him. We checked the usual places—his home, the bowling alley—but he was nowhere to be found. That quiet panic started to build. Was he okay? Had something happened? Was he in a ditch somewhere, hurt and alone?
We searched
every alley in the area until finally, sitting in the parking lot of one last
bowling alley, I tried calling him one more time.
He answered. Turns out, he’d gone bowling and turned off his phone so he wouldn’t be disturbed. He was fine. But for those few hours, the uncertainty was overwhelming. When someone you love goes off the grid—especially as they get older—it can trigger a flood of emotions. Fear. Confusion. Helplessness.
And then it hit me: I do the same thing.
As a brain injury survivor, I’ve wandered off in stores without realizing how long I’ve been gone. I’ve taken longer than expected grabbing fast food, only to get a call from my wife asking where I am. She’s not checking up on me because she doesn’t trust me. She’s checking in because she loves me. Because she knows how easily I can get confused. Because she wants me safe. It’s easy to forget that our caregivers carry a quiet burden. They’re always watching, always worrying, always hoping we’ll stay within reach. And when we don’t, even for a short time, it can feel like the ground disappears beneath them.
This
experience reminded me of something important: we owe it to the people who
love us to keep them in the loop. If we change our routine, take a detour,
or just need a moment alone, a quick message can go a long way. It’s not about
control—it’s about compassion.
So here’s my promise: I’m going to make a conscious effort to stay connected. To let my loved ones know where I am. To remember that love often looks like a phone call, a check-in, a moment of concern. Because being off the grid might feel freeing—but being found is what keeps us safe.